Saturday, April 23, 2011

"Pushing the Elephant" - Busboys & Poets Immersion

“Pushing the Elephant” is a documentary about Rose Mapendo: a Congolese Tutsis who was in a refugee camp during the 1996 war in the Democratic Republic of Congo and her story of forgiveness. Rose was married, the mother of eight children, and pregnant with twins when she entered into the refugee camp. One of her daughters, Nangbire, was forced to live with her grandparents when Rose and the rest of the family moved because in their home city the women do everything and the grandfather wouldn’t take one of the many sons. Nangbire was separated from her family from the age of four: although this spared her from the refugee camp, this separation was the cause of many personal issues for Nangbire later in life.

While Rose was in the camp, her husband was killed and she began to curse God for what had happened to her family. At some point, Rose came to the realization that her bitterness was a choice and that it was only making things worse. She made the choice to forgive her enemies and not let the bitterness and anger continue to destroy her. When she gave birth to her twins in the camp, she decided to name them after the commanders who had killed her husband because it was the biggest demonstration of love that could be shown in her country.

After her husband died, her oldest son John became the “father” of the family. When the soldiers came to kill John, Rose begged them for mercy and asked if there was anything that she could do to spare her son’s life. The soldier told her that if she gave him her oldest daughter, Aimee, that he would spare John’s life. Rose gathered John and Aimee together and told them both about the situation. Aimee told her mother that she would sacrifice herself to save her brother’s life and was ultimately raped and became pregnant in order to do so. The situation was later turned for good as it was the same soldier that got Aimee pregnant who helped deliver the Mapendo family from the refugee camp.

Rose, who now lives in the US, travels around the world telling her story of forgiveness. She shares about the struggles her family faced and encourages 1) the people who have/are facing similar circumstances to not be bitter, but love their enemies and 2) the people who have the ability to make a change in these countries to do so. Her focus is on unity, reconciliation, and peace- not on retaliation. Rose explains how change is like pushing an elephant: one person can’t move an elephant alone, but many people can move it together and it is the same for change. As people band together they have the ability to make a drastic change for the better.

I was really inspired by Rose’s story as I always am with people who overcome such major life circumstances. The most impressive and encouraging part of Rose’s story for me was her strong emphasis on forgiveness. I can’t even imagine having to face what she did and then having the ability to love and forgive her enemies. It is a principle that is stated all over the Bible: “love your enemies, do good to those who persecute you” and Rose was the perfect example of practically applying that. I believe that there are many ways to make a change in this world and anger and retaliation is very often the most popular method. Rarely do you see people killing others with kindness and pursuing change in a way where they aren’t stepping over others to get it. I am the biggest proponent of leading by example and that is what Rose did by forgiving her enemies and then using her experience to bring awareness to the world. It wasn’t all sunshine and roses for her after she moved to the US either. When Rose was finally reunited with her daughter Nangbire, she had to balance work and her family since Nangbire especially needed a lot of attention. In her story they showed the reality of how in life we have to choose between important things. What Rose did was rather than pick one over the other she brought Nangbire with her on some of her speeches and presentations. She not only gave her daughter the attention that she needed, she was also able to show her daughter how important it is for them to be strong role models for the world. Their story is so important and the fact that her mom takes the time to share it with people has a lasting impact on many lives. There were times where Rose’s son would also try to discourage her from going places to share out of fear for her safety but she explained that very truth to him about their responsibility to speak out against the war. The courage that Rose depicts is astounding because she is living what she is preaching. She is showing even her children how necessary it is to truly fight for change. The documentary shows the family constantly praying for the war to end in the Congo and Rose is taking it a step further and doing all that she knows to do. She knows that the future is in the hands of the Lord, but she also realizes her responsibility to be an example in word and deed. As she continues to speak out at seminars and travel the world telling her story of forgiveness and change, Rose is able to continuously gather more people to help push the elephant of change for the Congo.

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